Sunday, August 30, 2009

Not Fitting Into The Mold

I don't fit in. That's why I started this blog. I don't fit in with "mainstream parenting" especially here in the South, because I breastfeed (exclusive, extended breastfeeding at that), I don't use pacifiers, I start solids late, and I co-sleep.

But I am so not of the hippie/crunchy persuasion. I have very strong Conservative Christian values. I do vaccinate, my son was circumcised, and I do use spanking as a form of discipline.

I care about the environment, which is one of the many reasons why I potty train my babies. But I think global warming is a hoax, and most environmentalists are ruining our country. I could go on, but I won't.

So why am I bringing this up at all? Because when you're deciding to do this, if you're like me, you'll feel intimidated. You'll think everyone will think you're weird. You might even face some people who will tell you not to do it. I have been encouraged many times to not breastfeed, despite documented evidence that shows how superior breastmilk is, so don't be surprised if people discourage you from trying IPT which is completely foreign to most in our culture, and doesn't have tons upon tons of research backing it up, as is the case with breastfeeding. (Though it does have some. Take a look at the recommended reading section, and the links.)

But I'm here to say it's okay. It's fine to be unclassifiable. The thing you have to learn as a parent is to do what is best for your kids, and to heck with what others say. You don't have to fit in. I certainly don't fit in with the philosophy of the mothering.commune people. They have a good forum for EC, but certain opinions are not welcome there, which makes me feel unwelcome there overall. I can't feel comfortable on a forum where they flame people for many of the beliefs I hold dearly. It's discouraging.

You'll face opposition to this, even if it's just perceived on your part. I know that when I was doing this with my first child, I really did think everyone thought I was crazy. After I had success with my first child it all became easier. As I've said before, it's a confidence game, and you'll gain that confidence sooner or later.

Also, just to be clear, I don't think you're a bad parent if you:
formula feed
use disposable diapers
don't do IPT
don't vaccinate
don't spank
don't circumcise
use pacifiers
etc. etc.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, I'm in almost the same situation as you. I also live in the South and know no one in person who does IPT. I'm a very strong conservative Christian. I will spank when my daughter is older (just 8 months old now). If she were a boy she would have been circumcised. I am putting breast-feeding before solids. I let my baby pick up what solids she wants instead of spoon feeding her (my husband's dad said "Is this the new way to feed babies?" lol. I still co-sleep. I totally agree with you about global warming, but I use cloth because it's so much cheaper! I am vaccinating, but not on the regular schedule. I have close family that is totally against shots (my mom and oldest sister) and close family that is for shots (two other sisters and my mom's brother). Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! I was homeschooled through elementary and high school, so being different is kinda part of my personality now :)

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  2. I came across you blog a few weeks ago and I read it when I have a few minutes. I fully agree with this post. I have a hard time finding a group of moms to fit into here in the Pacific Northwest. I am a Christian mama who does spank, did breastfeed my son until he was 2, I babywear, Cloth diaper, I circ'ed my son and I also believe strongly in ECing. I will continue reading and I encourage you to stop by my blog also.

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