Wednesday, September 1, 2010

In Defense of Spanking

So, even though I practice infant potty training, I'm a Conservative gal. Lots of folks who practice IPT are very anti-spanking, and that just doesn't jive with me. Maybe it has something to do with being raised in the South. If one of us kids got out of line, we got a swift swat on the rear, and you know what? We quit misbehaving. Bill Cosby does a great bit about his parenting experiences with spanking, as well as his experiences on the receiving end of spanking in his movie "Bill Cosby: Himself".

Some anti-spanking "experts" try to argue that spanking a child will only teach them to hit. Not true. A spanking gets the message across: stop misbehaving. Pretty simple, straightforward stuff. But as with most "expert parenting advice", common sense goes out the window. Then well meaning parents-to-be read the "experts", and pretty soon we have a generation of kids who won't mind. And kids that break the rules now will end up breaking the bigger rules, as in laws, in the future. So what's better? A swift whack to the rump now, or handcuffs and jail time later?

The fact of the matter is, parents are in authority over their kids. It's our job, as parents, to teach our kids the right way to behave. But our rights as parents are dwindling. Thanks to "experts" we're now seeing the government try to step in and tell the parents the best way to parent. And by "tell" I mean make it illegal to parent your kid the way that will keep them under control. For the past few years in California, they've tried to make it illegal to spank your kids. As in, if you spank your kid for running out into the  middle of a busy street, they want to be able to handcuff you and haul you off to jail for child abuse.

Has the world gone mad? I'll say this. I've seen kids who don't get spanked, and I've seen kids who do get spanked, and by far, the spanked ones are the most well mannered, and the most fun to be around. To try to say that spanking is child abuse is pure ignorance. On one hand, child abusers are there to bully their kids. On the other hand, a parent who spanks her kids is doing her dead level best to make sure her children don't end up criminals.

So, if you're a parent-to-be who's on the fence about spanking, know that there are still parents who spank, and we see great results. And it ain't child abuse.

11 comments:

  1. Bravo! It is amazing how happy my son is after a proper spanking. Kids who don't have clear boundaries that they are held to are just miserable.
    As for parent's rights, check out parentalrights.org. There is some scary stuff out there trying to be passed at a national level that would totally strip parents of any rights. Thankfully, there are those working to fight it.

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  2. I agree, Nicola. My kids seem relieved after they're put back in line. Kids need boundaries. Thanks for the great website recommendation!

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  3. I think the emphasis needs to be on discipline and not the exact method thereof. I don't spank my children, but I administer swift discipline. I think that if spanking is the only tool you have in your toolbox, then by all means, use it. But there are other ways of achieving the same ends.

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  4. Shakesrear, I didn't mean to imply that spanking was the only method a parent should use, just that it was indeed a valid and effective one.

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  5. I'm a IPT and I also spank, so you aren't alone! My little girl is only 1.5 and people already are telling me what a good child she is. I don't think it's because I'm such a great parent, but I think it is because I'm using a time-tested method of disipline. Spanking has been proven to work, some other methods have not. I'll have to admit that I am pretty reluctant to spank in public because there are so many negative feelings out there about it. Like you said, some people think it's child abuse!

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  6. Amen to that! Hahaha, you know what? A "parenting" book I read once said that kids can't understand the word "No" until they're 3 years old, and so you really shouldn't punish your kids before that age since they can't understand. It's sheer insanity! My kids understood the word "no" before they turned 1!

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  7. Everything is considered 'abuse' these days. I imagine that one day even raising your voice to your child will be considered 'abuse'.

    There is certainly a difference between discipline and 'abuse'.

    Considering the way children (and not all children...just more) behave these days, I think these 'experts' aren't doing society any favors. As a society we are becoming more and more sensitive and as a results we are raising entitled/spoiled children (once again...not all). Generation after generation have been spanked...in other parts of the world parents will spank without a second thought. I think spanking is far less detrimental to our children than some of these new ideas of 'discipline'. Of course, just because something has been done for generations doesn't make it right...each case needs to be considered on an individual basis. For me, spanking is an effective form of discipline but I wouldn't use it as my sole form of discipline.

    There are certainly parents who go overboard with discipline. A co-worker of mine recalled witnessing (and stopping) a woman who had pulled a large branch off of a tree and was beating her toddler (2-3 yr old). However, that kind of 'discipline' should not be grouped into the same category as the parent that gives her child a firm smack on the butt.

    In a day where officials can tell a parent what he/she is allowed to pack in a lunch for her children, I can only see the quality of children declining. I know I'm being pessimistic but this kind of stuff just drives me crazy.

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  8. I started "spanking" my son around the time he was 6 months old (not hard, but enough to snap him out of an attitude or behavior). Once a child figures out that they can test you, they will. When you stop it abruptly, it never becomes a problem, whatever the behavior is.

    However, I do understand that it easily goes overboard, especially when you don't use spanking until it's a last resort. Which, then your child easily frustrates you. I would recommend a very controlled and guilt-driven form (less force, but displaying the emotion aspect of disappointment and guilt) early on, and use more force as they get older.

    My child behaves better than any other child I have seen, and I am not afraid to spank my son in front of others (because I am not abusing him, and it's very rare that I need to). But it probably also stems from mine and my wife's 10 year Army Career (each).

    Simply put, stop the behavior before it becomes a problem (swiftly, efficiently, and effectively).

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  9. I started "spanking" my son around the time he was 6 months old (not hard, but enough to snap him out of an attitude or behavior). Once a child figures out that they can test you, they will. When you stop it abruptly, it never becomes a problem, whatever the behavior is.

    However, I do understand that it easily goes overboard, especially when you don't use spanking until it's a last resort. Which, then your child easily frustrates you. I would recommend a very controlled and guilt-driven form (less force, but displaying the emotion aspect of disappointment and guilt) early on, and use more force as they get older.

    My child behaves better than any other child I have seen, and I am not afraid to spank my son in front of others (because I am not abusing him, and it's very rare that I need to). But it probably also stems from mine and my wife's 10 year Army Career (each).

    Simply put, stop the behavior before it becomes a problem (swiftly, efficiently, and effectively).

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  10. Thanks for your comment, Adam. I totally agree. Also, thank you for your, as well as your wife's, service to our country!

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